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19 may 2009 |
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If
you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never
take any chances.
Julia
Sorel |
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Every
person who knows how to read has it in their power to magnify,
to multiply the ways in which they exist, to make their lives
full, significant, and interesting.
Aldous
Huxley |
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One
ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good
poem, see a fine picture and, if possible, speak a few
reasonable words.
Johann
Wolfgang
von Goethe |
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Faith
is building what you know is here, so you can reach what you
know is there.
Cullen
Hightower |
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Humor
is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on,
one sits on one's bottom.
Taki |
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The
Balanced Self
Wilferd
A. Peterson
The man
walks out on the high wire over empty space, sways above the
breathless crowd, defies the law of gravity. . . .
The
successful living of a life can be compared to walking across
a high wire.
The
indispensable quality needed is balance.
The
balanced self is the well-integrated self. A harmonious
combination of all the constructive elements of personality
makes the self whole.
The
balanced self practices moderation, avoids extremes, follows
the maxim "Not anything too much."
The
balanced self meets the challenges of life with
equanimity. It is neither exalted by success nor
dejected by failure. It meets despair with hope and
climbs the heights with humility.
The
balanced self maintains mental equilibrium. It has ideals
without illusions. It separates fact from fancy.
It keep a level head.
The
balanced self is mature. It considers everything from a
grown-up viewpoint balanced by a child's simplicity.
The
balanced self balances dreams with action. It uses the
power of inner thought to inspire outer achievement. And
it uses action to stimulate further dreams.
The
balanced self guards against quick emotional reactions.
It does not jump to impulsive conclusions. It delays
action until it has had time, calmly and fairly, to balance
all the factors involved.
The
balanced self is resilient; it is flexible to change.
Like a tree in the wind, it bends without breaking.
The
balanced self knows the error of constant effort. It
renews itself through prayer and relaxation, that it may apply
a higher impact of energy and creative power to the task at
hand.
The
balanced self lives a balanced life. It balances work
and play, love and worship.
The
balanced self maintains the I AM of the spirit at the center
of self, in full command of its destiny.
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Who
Wants to Be a Perfectionist, Anyway?
Mike Moore
Our culture
seems to have elevated the quest for perfection to the status of
virtue. When someone is described as a perfectionist they are
frequently admired and envied. A perfectionist, in my
opinion is someone living in a constant state of dissatisfaction
and that isn't healthy. To perfectionists, no one, including
their spouse, children, family, friends and themselves ever
measures up to their impossible standards. Perfectionists
spend their lives never being happy with what they have
accomplished always wanting things to be perfect. I could
have or should have done better becomes the motto by which they
live.
Can you
imagine the anxiety involved in living with a perfectionist?
I recall teaching a bright high school senior whose mother was a
perfectionist. After receiving an A in my subject she looked
rather emotionless. I asked her if she was pleased with the
mark she achieved, and she said, "Yes, but my Mother
won't be. She'll want to know why it isn't an A+."
I don't know
if full-blown perfectionism can be changed without psychological
intervention, but I do think that it can definitely be avoided by
adopting more reasonable expectations of yourself and
others. How?
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* Make friends
with your imperfections and those of others. Sure, it's
important to strive to do well in what you attempt, but if your
best efforts don't result in what you wanted to achieve, don't be
too hard on yourself. It is more important to strive to
improve than to insist on perfection.
* Strive to
find pleasure in what you do, not perfection.
* Believe in
the old saying "Anything worth doing is worth doing
badly." If you enjoy playing the piano but play it
poorly, keep playing for the sheer pleasure it gives you. It
isn't important how well you play. It is more important that
you get pleasure out of doing it.
* Never let
your urge to do something well become a compulsion to do it
perfectly. Just commit yourself to the joy of doing and enjoy the
thrill of improving at it.
* Live by the
law of reasonable expectations rather than by the law of
perfection. Not only is perfection stressful, it's also
boring. Imperfection evokes humour and laughter while
perfection evokes stress, frustration and anger. One
promotes health and well being; the other, anxiety and dis-ease.
* Learn to
laugh at yourself and your imperfections. If you don't, you
leave the job to someone else.
* Human
beings, by nature, are imperfect, so relax and enjoy the fact.
Mike Moore is
an international speaker and writer on human achievement and humor
therapy. You can access his site at http://www.motivationalplus.com
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One evening in a movie theater, the lights had
just gone down and the crowd had just settled in when a flashy ad
for the theater's concession stand lit up the screen.
Unfortunately, the sound was missing. The crowd sat quietly
for a few moments, then out of the darkness, an irritated voice
demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?" |
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Eyes
Wide Open
tom walsh
A Guiding
Hand
I've been
teaching high school for two years now, after 12 years of teaching
college. One of the most remarkable things that I've found
in the job is just how often I hear administrators and other
teachers use the word "control." There seems to be
an attitude among the people who work at the school that the
students there need to be "controlled," that the key to
good behavior among the kids is to control their
behavior--basically, to force them to act in certain ways that
aren't disruptive or damaging.
Perhaps
they're just caught up in paradigms that they learned when they
were younger. Perhaps they just learned the term
"classroom management" and assumed that this means to
control the behaviors of other human beings. Whatever the
causes or the history behind their attitudes, though, one of the
truths of the matter is that I often hear comments like "that
class is uncontrollable," or "those kids never settle
down." I often hear teachers yelling at their classes
because they can't seem to get them to pay attention.
In all
fairness to all concerned, it is at times difficult to deal with a
classroom full of teenagers. Sometimes it does get very
frustrating when the kids won't pay attention, when they'll start
doing something else instead of the work at hand. But even
with those frustrations, it's important to keep in mind that we're
dealing with fellow human beings in the classroom, and that the
fact that they're younger than we are doesn't give us the right or
the responsibility to try to control them as if they were sheep or
cattle, to be herded where we want them to go when we want them to
go there.
In my
classroom, I allow people (and they are people, even if they're
only 15 or 16 years old) to do what they feel they need to do, as
long as they don't disrupt the class as a whole or disturb other
people who are trying to work. Sometimes they're very sleepy
because they had nightmares or because a parent was drinking the
night before. Sometimes they've just broken up with a
boyfriend or girlfriend, so they're not able to focus on adverbs
today. At times they're preoccupied because mom's in the
hospital or dad hasn't been heard from for a few days.
You see,
it's not up to me to know exactly where every student is on any
given day. It is up to me to provide an environment where
they can learn and work and be safe and comfortable for the 45
minutes that they spend with me each day. But I don't feel
that it's at all proper to try to "control" the behavior
of these young human beings, making them do what I want them to
do.
I know there
are those who are saying that my classes must be hellholes, that
they must be zoos where the kids just do whatever they want.
But that's not the case at all. I haven't written a single
detention this year. I've only referred two students to the
principal's office. I find that I simply don't need the
threat of punishment when I use the reality of mutual
respect. I don't need to threaten students when they're
treated like people, not like "kids." There have
been no fights in my classroom, and there's been a lot of
improvement in the work of all the students.
I had an
administrator come in once, spend two or three minutes looking
over the class, and then tell me "I saw only sixty percent of
your students engaged in the task." I told him that
sounded about right. But how many of us adults stay fully
engaged in our tasks ALL the time? I let students ask a
neighbor a question while they're working. I allow them to
doodle or to listen to music while they're working. These
are all strategies that have been very helpful to me in learning,
so why wouldn't I let other people use the same strategies that
have worked for me?
I find this
concept of "engagement" to be a frightening one, a
concept that's closely related to behavior management or
manipulation. This administrator actually believes that it's
possible to keep 100% of the kids in a classroom actively engaged
every single minute that they're in class. More amazingly,
he believes that such a scenario is beneficial to the students,
that every student in the class will learn in the same ways at the
same time.
Leo
Buscaglia said, We are failing in schools of education because we're
not helping teachers to shed
the role of teachers and become human
beings and to realize that they are guides. To the extent to
which they recognize this, so will they be successful in the
classroom
because a kid can recognize a guide. . . . Imagine what it
would be like if everyone
in this room had the opportunity to be
encouraged to be a unique human being. But you
know how it
seems to me? That the essence of our educational system is to
make
everybody like everybody else. And when we've done that,
we consider ourselves
very lucky, indeed. You see it happening
all the time! "I'm not interested in your
uniqueness. I'm interested in knowing if I have succeeded in
giving you me, and
to the extent to which you can parrot me, I have
been a successful teacher."
I believe
him when he says this, and I think it's very important that we
focus not on controlling our young people, but in guiding them to
become the people they were meant to be. If we can be
successful in this, we will help our young people to grow up to be
well-adjusted, contributing partners in this world of ours.
And the future could look very bright, indeed.
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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| In
Praise of a Contented Mind
My mind to
me a kingdom is;
Such perfect joy I therein find
That it exceeds all other bliss
That world affords or grows by kind.
Though much I want which most men have,
Yet still my mind forbids to crave.
No princely
pomp, no wealthy store,
No force to win the victory,
No wily wit to slave a sore,
No shape to feed each grazing eye;
To none of these I yield as thrall.
For why my mind doth serve for all.
I see how
plenty suffers oft,
How hasty climbers soon do fall;
I see that those who are aloft
Mishap doeth threaten most of all;
They get with toil, they keep with fear.
Such cares my mind could never bear.
Content I
live, this is my stay;
I seek no more than may suffice;
I press to bear no haughty sway;
Look what I lack my mind supplies;
Lo, thus I triumph like a king,
Content with that my mind doth bring.
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Some
have too much, yet still do crave;
I little have, and seek no more.
They are but poor, though much they have,
And I am rich with little store.
They poor, I rich; they beg, I give;
They lack, I leave; they pine, I live.
I laugh not
at another's loss;
I grudge not another's gain;
No worldly waves my mind can toss;
My state at one doth still remain.
I fear no foe, nor fawning friend;
I loathe not life, nor dread my end.
Some weigh
their pleasure by their lust,
Their wisdom by their rage of will,
Their treasure is their only trust;
And cloaked craft their store fo skill.
But all the pleasure that I find
Is to maintain a quiet mind.
My wealth
is health and perfect ease;
My conscience clear my chief defense;
I neither seek by bribes to please,
Nor by deceit to breed offence.
Thus do I live; thus will I die.
Would all did so as well as I!
~~Anonymous
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I don't ask
for the meaning of the song of a bird
or the rising of the sun on a misty morning.
There they are, and they are beautiful.
Pete Hamill |
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