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17 March 2009 |
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Hi
there! It's time for another issue of our e-zine, time to
share
words that we hope will touch you in positive ways and help you to
see and recognize the beauty and wonder of all the potential we
have. |
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| If
I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however, if I
treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I
help you become that.
Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
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Life
is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties,
but of
little things, in which smiles, and kindnesses,
and small
obligations, given habitually, are what
win and preserve
the heart and secure comfort.
Humphrey
Davy
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Do not
keep the alabaster boxes of your love
and tenderness sealed up
until your friends are dead.
Fill their lives with
sweetness. Speak approving,
cheering words while their ears
can hear them
and while their hearts can be thrilled by them.
Henry Ward
Beecher
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Always
Have Fun in All Ways
Bill Resler People
ask me why it is I continue to coach high school girls
basketball despite the fact that my daughters are grown
and that the job takes up a considerable amount of
time. It certainly isn't for the money. I
could make more money mowing lawns in a summer than I do
as a high school girls basketball coach. If a person
coaches high school girls basketball for money or fame,
they're insane. Good coaches devote so many hours of
their lives solely because they love the players they
teach. They know that the true payoff doesn't come
from a winning on-court feat--it comes years after the
girls graduate from high school, when I see them walking
tall and strong and I know they gained much of their
confidence through the life lessons they learned on the
court. Without a doubt, I coach for the love of the
game, but I also coach because it gives me the opportunity
to pass on the important lessons I've learned to all of
the wonderful students under my watch. . . . I
know that in order for my players to get the most out of
their basketball seasons, they must be able to own their
own turf--and this translates to their lives off the
court, too. In Roughrider land, the basketball key
is our home. We will share our home with teammates,
but not with opponents. When an opponent flashes
through the key, we will smash them. We run a drill
called "Smash the Flash," which teaches the
girls that no one is allowed in our key and any opponent
who does so will get knocked to the hardwood. As the
girls often say, "Not in our
kitchen."
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Owning
the actual basketball court is important, but it
represents just one part of a player's turf. When
players learn to work with teammates while controlling
their turf, they're practicing skills that will help them
deal with future life experiences. When
kids are young, their parents are their primary
educators. Most parents understand that as their
little ones grow up, they need to be given more and more
space as they edge towards independence. Parents
need to understand that high school sports provide an
environment where their kids can learn to assert
themselves and grow as individuals. But in order for
that to happen, young athletes must be allowed to take the
helm themselves, and navigate unexplored waters using
their own steering mechanisms, without parental
involvement. . . . There
is one guiding principle that pushes my life and that
drives all of these lessons: always have fun in
all ways. Every other teaching standard and life
lesson flows from this key philosophy. I believe
that if your life isn't fun, you should change it.
Every person views fun in their own way, but not everyone
pursues it as their paramount principle. It's
unlikely that everyone is comfortable with placing
"always have fun" at the top of their life-goals
list, but for me, there is no other course. For
those of you who disagree, take a moment to consider that
placing fun on the highest pedestal can make it easier to
be in the moment, even when you're facing a truly
difficult and challenging situation. All
of the lessons I've taught the Roughriders through the
years are important. But I feel that employing a
teaching style that utilizes fun aspects when possible is
incredibly helpful, especially when dealing with
confidence boosting. Much of my coaching comes
sprinkled with wicked sarcasm and impish pranks. I
believe that to be effective, I must create an aura of
unpredictability, so during practice I spout out crazy
comments at random times. I do this for two
reasons: first, to keep them alert, and most
important, to remind them that we must always have fun in
all ways. . . . As
I've reflected on my eight seasons as Roosevelt's coach
and considered all that I've accomplished, which is
something I rarely do, I honestly don't care about
Roosevelt's win-loss record or how many championships
we've won. More than any statistic, I care about the
lessons my players learn from the experience, and how they
will utilize those lessons decades after the final buzzer
of their basketball careers. What I value most is
knowing that I've made a positive impact on the lives of
many teenagers. My players, and the moments they
have created, have brought me more fun than I can fit into
words.
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In
this engaging book, Coach Bill Resler discusses
the lessons – culled from life experiences both
on and off the court — that he teaches his
players. By combining life lessons with basketball
skill, he transformed a once-losing basketball
team into state champions. Here Resler remembers
past players and seasons and uses them to
illustrate these valuable lessons. The stories he
shares are filled with the excitement of the game
and the coach’s personal charm. In addition, the
book details Resler’s concept of the Inner
Circle, a technique he uses to develop deep-seated
feelings of comaraderie in his players. The
Heart of the Team inspires readers to
develop competitiveness, teamwork, and
self-confidence — attributes that come in handy
both on and off the court. |
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The
Heart of the Game
is, simply put, one of the most enjoyable and
joyous documentaries ever made. For several years,
the movie follows a girls' basketball team called
the Rough Riders from a Seattle high school as
they strive to win the state championship, and in
the process discovers heart-wrenching twists of
fate, vivid and compelling characters, colorful
dialogue, and a nail-biting conclusion. The
Heart of the Game starts with Bill Resler, a
professor of tax law who agrees to become the head
coach for the girls' basketball program at
Roosevelt High School. He swiftly challenges the
players with demanding drills and wild metaphors
(each year he picks a different theme for the
team, from "pack of wolves" to
"tropical storm")--and the girls take
him on, pulling together into a potent team. But
when a girl from a poor neighborhood named
Darnellia Russell joins the Rough Riders, her
skill takes their fortunes even higher--until she
unexpectedly has to quit. |
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Life
for me is like an ocean, with waves sometimes high, sometimes low,
sometimes smooth, sometimes rough; so sometimes I'm high,
sometimes I'm smooth, sometimes I'm low and sometimes I'm
troubled. To carry the ocean analogy a little further, the
current is life and the waves are essential for the movement of
the ocean and for all the life that it holds inside. Waves
are a natural response to all the forces in the universe.
I am the same way, my faces are natural consequences
of my being a human being, living and growing, and I need to know
that storms as well as the beautiful sunshine are part of
life. So I take pride in my stormy face, my sunshiney face,
and I accept them as natural for that context. I don't have
to put on a happy face when I feel stormy. I can put on a
face that belongs with that. And I don't have to put on a
face of doubt when I feel sunshiney inside.
Virginia
Satir |
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On
Giving
Khalil Gibran (from The Prophet)
Then
said a rich man, "Speak to us of Giving."
And
he answered:
You
give but little when you give of your possessions.
It
is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For
what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear
you may need them tomorrow?
And
tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying
bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy
city?
And
what is fear of need but need itself?
Is
not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is
unquenchable?
There
are those who give little of the much which they have - and they
give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts
unwholesome.
And
there are those who have little and give it all.
These
are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer
is never empty.
There
are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And
there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their
baptism.
And
there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they
seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They
give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into
space.
Though
the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes
He smiles upon the earth.
It
is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked,
through understanding;
And
to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy
greater than giving.
And
is there aught you would withhold?
All
you have shall some day be given;
Therefore
give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your
inheritors'.
You
often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The
trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They
give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely
he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of
all else from you.
And
he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to
fill his cup from your little stream.
And
what desert greater shall there be than that which lies in the
courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And
who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their
pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride
unabashed?
See
first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument
of giving.
For
in truth it is life that gives unto life -- while you, who deem
yourself a giver, are but a witness.
And
you receivers -- and you are all receivers -- assume no weight of
gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who
gives.
Rather
rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For
to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has
the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.
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Keeping Hope Alive
Steve Goodier
We cannot live only on hope. But neither can we live without
it. Nobody knew this better than John Chapman.
John Chapman was a man of great hope. He was born in 1774 in
Massachusetts. In the early 1800's he got in on the opening
of land in the Northwest Territory, as it was then called, of the
new United States. He found small plots of land suitable for
farming and cleared them by hand. He bought fruit seed in
Pennsylvania every year and carried it to his many apple orchards,
usually on his back.
When the trees were large enough to transplant, he sold them to
settlers homesteading the West. Eventually, he had little
apple orchards spread around what would become the states of Ohio,
Michigan, Illinois and Indiana. Most people forgot, or never
knew, his real name, and took to calling him Johnny the Apple Man
or Johnny Appleseed.
Johnny was a gentle man with a big vision. He was liked by
most people who knew him, the native Indians and white settlers
alike. His vision was to spread the goodness of apple trees
everywhere people settled. Apples, he believed, gave the
promise of harvest and hope that the wilderness would become
home. Every tree he grew was a symbol of hope.
Johnny had another curious habit. He loved books, but did
not have the means to carry more than two, usually a Bible and a
book of inspiration or theology. Because Johnny wanted to
share his books, he carefully cut chapters out of whatever
inspirational book he had available and loaned one or two chapters
to families that wanted to read. He'd later swap those
chapters for others when he came back through. In this way he left
hope and encouragement wherever he traveled.
His grave can be found today in Fort Wayne, Indiana. It
says, "Johnny Appleseed (John Chapman). He lived for
others."
Johnny understood his greatest task in life: to keep hope
alive. When we keep hope alive, then hope keeps us alive.
© Steve Goodier. Steve is a newspaper columnist and
author of numerous books on personal development. Visit his site
for more information, free
eBooks or to sign up for his ezine newsletter of Life, Love and
Laughter at http://LifeSupportSystem.com |
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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Eyes Wide Open
tom walsh
Doing What We Can
Sometimes it seems that people expect us to be miracle workers,
no matter what field we happen to be working in. Somehow,
expectations of people in almost all work fields have grown so
incredibly high that we have a hard time keeping in mind that
we're all still just human beings, and that we all have our
abilities and our potential, but also our limitations.
Part of the problem seems to stem from the fact that we now
have far fewer people doing the work of what used to be more
people. Due to economic problems, companies and schools have
been forced to lay off workers and teachers and executives, and as
they do so, the same amount of work gets spread around among fewer
people. Classroom sizes go up, leaving teachers to try to
effectively teach more and more students. Case loads go up
and the amount of work we're expected to do--and that needs to be
done--rises, but the amount of pay that we're getting for doing
more work now stays the same--if we're lucky.
All in all, we're being forced to deal with a lot of problems
that we haven't had to deal with in the past, yet expectations of
our job performances have gone up without any more training, pay,
or benefits. It seems that the current greatest benefit is
simply keeping our jobs, even though we're now expected to perform
at levels that simply weren't expected of us when we got those
jobs.
And what can we do about this? About the situation as a
whole, there's really nothing that we can do. If we have
work, we have to keep in mind that the expectations of us are
changing, that our jobs by necessity are becoming something
different than what they were or even than what we expected them
to be. And it's important that we learn to adapt to these
new expectations, that we learn how to do our work carefully and
completely, even if there's much more work now than there used to
be.
We've already been told at the high school where I teach that
our class sizes will rise dramatically next year, even though
they're already pretty big this year. For the most part,
people have reacted rather practically--let's figure out how to do
this well without a major drop in what we give to students.
It's not going to be easy, of course, but it will be possible for
us to still teach well with larger classes. Of course, we'll
completely lose the ability to work one-on-one with our students,
and we won't be able to grade nearly as much work from them, but
we still can be effective.
One of my major goals is to figure out how to teach more
students without having to grade so many more papers and writing
assignments. If I have more students and I continue to grade
as much writing per student as I do now, then it will be
impossible for me to do anything else, and I'm sure that I can
expect to burn out long before the year is over. One of my
ways of coping, then, is going to be to devise assignments that
are easily and quickly graded, and to think of ways that students
can effectively evaluate their own work.
I recognize that I'm fortunate to be able to devise methods to
cope with an increased work load. If I worked at an
insurance company, for example, and lost one of my co-workers who
doesn't get replaced, then I still have the same eight hours a day
to get significantly more work done, and to deal with more
people. My stress level will go up with my workload and my
responsibilities, and it would be very important to me to work on
ways to deal effectively with that stress.
One of the most important things I can do, though, is to
recognize my own limitations and not get down on myself if I don't
do virtually everything under the sun. I'm still one person,
and while I do have the ability to stretch my limits and
accomplish great things, I also have to be realistic and keep in
mind the limitations that come with having a certain amount of
time to accomplish a certain amount of work--while I would love to
work at superhuman speed and accomplish superhuman tasks, the
reality is that I can do only what I can do. I will push
myself, but I won't burn myself out. I will do all that I
can, but I won't beat myself up if I don't do virtually
everything.
It's also important to keep in mind that this, too, shall
pass. I was in the Army during the first Gulf War, stationed
in Germany. When the war broke out, all of the artillery
units from our base were sent to Kuwait, which left about half of
the people behind to do all of the work that had been done before,
plus all of the additional security that came from being on a post
in a foreign country. For most of us, this meant 12-hour
days, six days a week. While it was draining, it did come to
an end, and eventually we were able to go back to
"normal" schedules, to the lives that we had known
before the war broke out.
Be patient. Do all that you can, and do it well.
But recognize that we're in the middle of extraordinary times, and
that these times soon will pass. "Soon" may be
this summer, and it may be two years from now, but it will
come. Allow yourself to recognize that you're working well,
and that you are accomplishing a lot, but don't burn yourself
out. Know that it's necessary for you to compensate for the
people who are gone, but know also that it isn't necessary for you
to burn yourself out. You are who you are, and if you
stretch your limits you'll see that you're able to accomplish much
more than you thought you could--but you're still not superhuman,
so try to remain realistic about just what you're able to do with
the time and resources available to you.
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® |
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All contents © 2009 Living Life Fully®, all rights
reserved.
Please feel free to re-use material from this site other than
copyrighted articles--
contact each author for permission to use those. If you use
material, it would be
greatly appreciated if you would provide credit and a link back to
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Thank you. |
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I have
learned silence from the talkative;
tolerance from the intolerant;
and kindness form the unkind.
Khalil
Gibran
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| The
practice of loving kindness must find its root deep within
us. The story is told that Mohandas Gandhi once settled in a
village and at once began serving the needs of the villagers who
lived there. A friend inquired if Gandhi's objectives in
serving the poor were purely humanitarian. Gandhi replied,
"Not at all. I am here to serve no one else but myself,
to find my own self-realization through the service of these
village folk."
As Gandhi wisely
points out, even as we serve others we are working on ourselves;
every act, every word, every gesture of genuine compassion
naturally nourishes our own hearts as well. It is not a
question of who is healed first. When we attend to ourselves
with compassion and mercy, more healing is made available for
others. And when we serve others with an open and generous
heart, great healing comes to us.
Wayne
Muller |
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