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15 September 2009
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People
rarely succeed unless they
have fun in what they are
doing.
Dale
Carnegie |
What
lies in our power to do,
lies in our power not to do.
Aristotle
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Overcome
anger by non-anger, overcome evil by good. Overcome the miser by
giving, overcome the liar by truth.
The Dhammapada
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Practice radical humility when it comes to your own
accomplishments, and give credit everywhere except to your ego.
Wayne Dyer |
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When You Feel Confused
Iyanla Vanzant
Chaos and confusion are not the same things.
Chaos is the energy we create when we have a need to be
needed, when we want to make ourselves feel important,
when we are trying to convince ourselves that we are not
important, and when we need something to do. Chaos
looks confusing, but it is not confusion. Chaos is a
cleverly disguised way of saying, "I know what to do
and you don't!" Or, "You know what to do,
so please rescue me!" Or, "Get out of the
way! I'm in control here!" Or,
"There is something else I need to be doing, but I
can't do it now because I'm busy creating
chaos!" Confusion, on the other hand, is a
mental and emotional response to the failure to admit what
we really want, because we are afraid we will not get it.
Confusion is an experience of having the brain shut
down. There is a barrage of information coming at
you, and you can't figure out what is real from what is
unreal. The natural response is a perceived
experience of not knowing what to do. Well, that's
impossible! You always know what to do because you
have a divine connection to the One Mind that knows
everything. Confusion is also the mental and
emotional outgrowth of knowing exactly what to do, and
having this knowledge clouded by the belief that you are
not good enough or smart enough to do it. This is
augmented by the fear that if you do it, you might not do
it right, or that if you do it the way it needs to be
done, somebody will get mad at you. The natural
response to this self-defeating mental chatter is for the
intellectual mind to shut down. The result is what
we call confusion.
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There
was a time in my life when I was very confused about why I
couldn't sustain a lasting, meaningful relationship.
It seemed as if I would never have a fulfilling or lasting
relationship with a man, and that friends would always
betray me. I told myself that it wasn't my fault,
and that I had done the best I could in every
situation. I finally retreated into the
self-debasing judgment that there was something wrong with
me. As confused as I was and damaged as I believed I
was, I kept dragging myself in and out of relationships
and friendships. The confusion eventually spread to
my career. I could never seem to figure out what my
supervisor wanted. I never seemed to do anything
right. From there, the confusion spread to my
finances. I could not figure out why I never had
enough money, why I kept bouncing checks. Where was
the money going? I was putting it in the bank.
Confession
is another important step toward the elimination of
confusion. I confess, I was not willing to ask the
men in my life for what I wanted because I was afraid they
would leave me. I confess, I was not willing to tell
my friends when they were overstepping their boundaries
because I thought they would be mad at me. I
confess, I was not handling my finances with attention and
care because I thought there was never enough to do what I
wanted to do. I confess, I believed I was ugly, too
fat, not smart, unworthy, unvaluable, and a disappointment
to my mother and God. The result of not confessing
these things to myself about myself and taking healing
steps toward correction was confusion. The final
straw came when I lost my car! No, it was not
stolen. I lost it in the parking lot. I parked
it right under the big letter C. When I returned
from my shopping expedition, it was not there. It
took me forty-five minutes to find my car right where I
had parked it--under the big letter F. F stands for
fog. My brain was fogged by my unwillingness to ask
for what I wanted.
Until
you are ready to admit to yourself exactly what it is that
you want, you will experience confusion. Until you
are willing to ask for exactly what you want in life, from
any situation, or in your relationships with other people,
you will experience confusion. The confusion will
not subside until you honestly believe that you deserve
what you want; and that, if it is for your highest good,
you will eventually have exactly what you want. In
order to move out of confusion, you must be willing to be
still long enough to get in touch with what you really
want. This can be a pretty frightening experience,
particularly when there is negative self-talk and negative
chatter going on in the mind. You can alleviate this
kind of disruption with self-affirming thoughts and
actions. Once this is done, and you identify what
you want, you must be willing to mentally and emotionally
ride out the experience of admitting what you want.
Stop worrying about how and when it will happen.
Realize that you can have in life only what you are meant
to have. Everything you receive is for your growth
and healing.
Once
you have admitted what you want, consciously take steps
toward the realization of that experience. Do and
say things that are a reflection of your desire. Do
not settle for something you know is a reasonable
facsimile of what you want. Hold out for the real
thing to show up. Ride out your dream. You
will know it when it shows up because it will meet every
aspect of what you have said you want to experience.
In the meantime, keep affirming yourself. Be willing
to admit when you make a mistake. Ask for help or
support when you need it. As you move toward your
goal and gather new information, realize it is never too
late to change your mind. As soon as you realize the
need to make another choice, admit it to yourself, and
then do it.
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The
charismatic Vanzant (whom Oprah Winfrey considers to
be one of the world's most admirable spiritual
leaders) has a gift for humble, tell-it-like-it-is
talk. She is also a wise and warm soul, eager
to help others trust in love and find a relationship
with God in order to get on with their lives.
Readers especially like her daily list of
inspirations titled "Let Me
Remember." For example, under day 23,
"When You Feel Angry," she uses the list
to remind readers: "All things work to bring me
healing"; "Forgiveness will provide relief
and release"; and "Love will heal anything
that is not an expression of love." |
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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We must
be willing to get rid of
the life we've planned,
so as to have
the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed
before the new one can come.
Joseph Campbell |
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Eyes Wide Open
tom walsh
Silly
Lizards
I go
running a lot, especially since I was laid off and I still
haven't found work. I love to run, so it's something that
I do regularly--it's a way to stay in shape, a form of
meditation, and a nice part of every day.
Depending
upon where I run, I see quite a lot of wildlife. Where I
live right now, I tend to see antelope mostly, along with a lot
of smaller creatures such as lizards and snakes and roadrunners
and falcons (can you tell I don't live in Michigan?). One
of the more perplexing creatures to me, though, is the lizard,
mostly because of how it reacts when I come running by.
Most of
the lizards aren't even on the trail I'm running on--they're
safely in the bushes and weeds on the sides of the trail.
Since I'm running on the trail itself, they're perfectly safe,
not at all threatened by me.
Amazingly
enough, even though they're perfectly safe where they are, these
silly little creatures almost always run out onto the trail as
I'm coming by, often right beneath my feet. They put
themselves in the way of danger for no reason at all, trying to
escape a threat that didn't even exist. I often have to
skip a step or change in mid-stride where my foot's going to
land just so that I don't step on the little guys.
I've
noticed the same behavior with rabbits, while I'm in a car,
especially out on back roads. Even though they're
perfectly safe in a bush on the side of the road, they wait
until the car's really close, and then they bolt out into the
middle of the road to try to escape this vehicle that had posed
them no threat in the first place. It's dismaying to feel
that sickly "thud" as one of the car's wheels stops a
rabbit in its tracks, but there really is nothing that a driver
can do to avoid killing rabbits--the silly little creatures are
basically committing suicide by leaving their safe haven and
putting themselves in the way of imminent danger.
Whenever
I see this happen, I wonder if I sometimes do the same thing, in
slightly different ways. Am I perfectly safe where I am,
but choose to put myself in harm's way when I step into a
situation that I really shouldn't step into in the first
place? If I were offered a job in which I had no
experience, I'd probably be setting myself up for disaster by
taking it. And yes, I may learn quickly and succeed, but
that's not a given. Perhaps I'm looking to be put down and
offended if I add my two cents' worth into an argument that
really isn't any of my business. Or maybe I want to make
some easy money, so I decide to invest in a business about which
I know absolutely nothing. In any of these situations, I
would be leaving a comfort zone and setting myself up for some
sort of negative results, for no real reason at all.
This
isn't to say that we shouldn't take risks. Risks make life
worthwhile, but it's important that we examine the risks and
figure out if they're really worth it. The risks that the
lizards and rabbits are taking serve no real purpose at
all--they're already safe where they are, so why put themselves
in harm's way in order to escape that potential harm?
I read an
article about a person who chose to go flying in a heavy storm,
and the reporter was all impressed about this person's
willingness to take risks, to live life to the fullest. I
really couldn't believe what I was reading--living life to the
fullest does not include doing stupid things like flying in
weather that possibly could kill you. And that's just what
happened--the man and his passenger died, for no reason--after
all, they could have waited a couple of hours for the storm to
pass. And the reporter who wrote about it was impressed
about his risk-taking, though I doubt that the man's family--or
the family of his passenger--saw anything at all to be impressed
with in the ridiculous decision.
I really
don't want to be a silly lizard or rabbit. I don't want to
put myself into harmful situations for no reason at all. I
will take risks, but they won't be risks that I haven't
considered beforehand--we can't analyze all of life and
constantly think through everything that happens, but we can
make some smart decisions that will help us as people by keeping
us out of the way of needless harm.
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Free
Wallpaper! Just click below on
the size your desktop is formatted to,
right-click on the picture that appears
in the new window, and choose
"Set as background."
(This
photo's from September 18 in
Grand Teton National Park, by the way.)
800
x 600 - 1024
x 768 |
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Get
Yourself Unstuck: 8 Smart Reminders
Helaine Iris
Whether you consider yourself a
occasional procrastinator, or a terminal one, getting stuck in
the mud occasionally - paralyzing your ability to act sometimes
happens. While it's certainly useful to explore the
reasons behind persistent procrastination patterns and resolve
them, this article is intended to offer you 8 smart reminders,
to free you up and get you moving again. Here they are:
Recall your greatest vision.
Your actions should always match the values you hold for your
self and your business if they don't, you will find it hard to
summon the energy to act. Find a way to bring each task
into congruence with your vision--if you can't, ask yourself why
you're doing it in the first place.
Once you're moving, keep
going. When you're inspired, act immediately.
Create a short, written plan and avoid getting distracted.
This will maximize your ability to accomplish. It's important to
keep your plan simple and start with the most important task
first giving you a sense of accomplishment. Balance the
time spent planning with time spent doing and by all
means--avoid over planning, which is yet another clever method
of procrastination.
Get tasks into your planner.
Pretend your tasks are appointments with clients.
Determine how much you can realistically do at a time and work
it into your schedule. Don't leave tasks for when you have
spare time. Work only as long as you stay interested and
set a completion point for accomplishing each task.
Completion points give you an end in sight to look forward to.
Chunk it down.
Don't put any task on your list that takes more than 30
minutes. If it takes longer, it's actually a series of
smaller tasks. Break each step out and list it
separately. Remember, you don't have to tackle all the
steps of a project in one sitting. Spread a large task out
over several work sessions you will see greater progress as you
check more items off your list.
Done is better than perfect.
Don't try to do everything perfectly, perfectionism often causes
procrastination rather than perfection, aim for progress any
small step toward completion is an accomplishment.
Eat the Frog.
According to Brian Tracy's book of the same title, do the worst
task (or part of the task) first and get it out of the
way. Once you tackle the part you are dreading, the rest
is easy.
Make it fun. Make
the project and also the environment enjoyable. Play your
favorite music, open the window, have a great snack; also, give
yourself the best tools and work space possible. Take a
few minutes to organize your work space before you start so you
feel good in the space. Always remember to reward your
accomplishments, as this will encourage productivity. Give
yourself a break, a treat, a nap--whatever works for you.
Be accountable.
Giving your word to someone else is a great tool to facilitate
results. Remember, you don't have to do it alone.
Find an accountability partner who will track your progress,
problem solve, and celebrate success with you.
It's YOUR life. . . imagine the
possibilities! |
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Helaine
Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher that loves
her life. She
works with
individuals and self-employed professionals, who
want to thrive in their business while crafting a life that's in
absolute alignment with their highest ideals, deepest values and
gracefully masters the complexities of modern living. For
a solution-focused complimentary session visit her
website at http://www.pathofpurpose.com or email her at helaine@pathofpurpose.com.
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all rights reserved.
Please feel
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Be
grateful for what you do have, and
you will find it increases. I like to
bless with love all that is in my life
right now--my home, the heat, water,
light, telephone, furniture, plumbing, appliances, clothing,
transportation,
jobs--the money I do have, friends,
my ability to see and feel and taste
and touch and walk and to enjoy
this incredible planet.
Louise Hay
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| Lyrics that matter:
My Wish
Jeffrey Steele and Steve Robson
as recorded by Rascal Flatts
I hope that the days come easy and the
moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
Chorus:
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it
to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things
too,
Yeah, this is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
Chorus 2x
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big
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This song is available on
Rascal Flatts
Me and My Gang
2006
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