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12 May 2009
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Love is the free exercise of choice.
Two people love each other only when they are quite
capable of living without each other but choose to live
with each other.
M. Scott Peck
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The
spiritual path is one of falling on your face, getting up,
brushing yourself off, turning and looking sheepishly at
God and then taking the next step.
Aurobindo
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Do
not place your happiness in distant lands or in grandly
imagined tasks; do well what you can do, until you can do
greater things as well.
Will
Durant
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The greatest amount of good we can do in this
world lies not in what we say or in the opinions we advance,
but in what we are, the atmosphere we carry with us.
Paramananda
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Choosing:
Deciding on the Dream
Mary Manin Morrissey
A
dream cannot come true unless you dream that dream.
Oscar
Hammerstein
My
son John was just under a year old when I collapsed with a
life-threatening kidney disease. The shame and guilt
resulting from my unplanned pregnancy had continued to
fester to the point that my toxic feelings literally
poisoned my body. Tests revealed that my right kidney,
ravaged by infection, was sending waste throughout my
body, while the left kidney was failing quickly. The
doctors gave me six months to live.
The
night before I was scheduled to have surgery to remove my
right kidney, a minister named Dr. Mila Warn visited me in
the hospital. My mother-in-law had heard her preach, and
she had asked Dr. Warn to stop by and talk with me.
"Maybe
she can help," my mother-in-law told me.
I
was doubtful. Even though I'd grown up going to church, I
hadn't attended services for the past few years, and I
didn't for a minute believe a minister could do anything
about malfunctioning internal organs. But if she wanted to
pray for me, I wouldn't object. At least, I told myself, a
new face would help pass what I anticipated would be a
very long evening.
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The
first thing Dr. Warn did was hand me a pamphlet
containing the teachings of Emmet Fox. It was called
"The Mental Equivalent." She pointed to a
passage that read:
"Whatever
enters into your life is but the material expression
of some belief in your own mind. The kind of body
you have, the kind of home you have, the kind of
work you do, the kind of people you meet are all
conditioned by and correspond to the deepest mental
concepts you hold."
Great,
I thought. So my bitter thoughts had killed my
kidney, and now they were killing me. It was my
fault I was dying. Somehow I didn't feel terribly
comforted.
Dr.
Warn told me to stop focusing on the past. What I
needed to do, she said, was make a decision about my
future. Whatever I deeply believed would ultimately
greatly influence the outcome of my illness.
"Can you believe that you don't need surgery
and that both your kidneys are perfect?" she
asked.
"No,
I can't believe that," I answered truthfully.
The tremendous pain in my back could not be denied.
"Then
try this," she encouraged. "Think about
the right kidney as the repository of all that is
presently toxic in your life. Can you do that?"
This
I could handle. My insides felt painfully noxious. I
told Dr. Warn the story of my disgrace, the feelings
of humiliation that still haunted me.
"So
imagine," she said, "that when the kidney
leaves your body, the toxicity that has been
poisoning your life will disappear as well. All your
guilt and shame about the pregnancy or anything else
can then also be removed. Then, with all the poison
gone, your other kidney will no longer be
diseased."
While
tests had indicated that my left kidney was also
badly damaged, it did not hurt as yet, so I figured
I had nothing to lose by following Dr. Warn's
suggestion. I would try to create a vision of a
perfectly healthy organ. And as we continued to talk
I made another, deeper decision: I decided that I
wanted to live.
It
wasn't as if I had consciously wanted to die. Since
my diagnosis I had feared death. My heart ached at
the thought of leaving behind a baby I loved. I
still cherished my dream of teaching. But the dream
seemed more elusive than ever, and I didn't feel as
if my absence from the world would leave a great
void. Life had brought frustration and unhappiness;
if I had nothing to look forward to but more of the
same, then I wouldn't be missing out on much. In my
desolation, I even imagined that my son might be
better off raised by someone else.
So
while I did not welcome the terrifying experience of
dying, I certainly did not object strenuously to my
fate. There is a tremendous difference between
fearing death and choosing life.
That
night I chose life. Dr. Warn remained at my bedside
for hours and helped me articulate the new thoughts
that would, with God, allow me to build the life I
wanted to live. As if a beautiful broom were
sweeping away the past, we saw all toxic shame and
guilt and unhealthy thoughts being swept into the
kidney that would leave my body in the morning.
Moment after moment I held fast to the idea of a
perfect left kidney. Dr. Warn urged me quietly to
focus all my energy on this healthy image.
With
God's help, she told me, I would be healed. I wanted
very much to believe her.
The
next day a baffled team of physicians considered the
evidence they found during surgery. Indeed, the
right kidney had needed to be removed. The left one,
however, contained not a trace of disease. I left
the hospital a week later, regaining my strength
quickly and feeling alive in a way that went beyond
physical health. The scar on my abdomen became an
exclamation point marking the precise moment I began
my spiritual awakening.
Set
Your Intention
My
healing experience as a young woman taught me a
powerful lesson about intention. I began to learn
that I did not have to be a victim of circumstance.
With God working through me, I could choose the life
I wanted to live and bring my intention to fruition
through the thoughts I held.
Have
you ever looked in the paper and seen a notice from
a bank that is attempting to locate a long-lost
client, someone who has money in an account? The
person either forgot about that account or never
knew it existed, but either way, no one has come
forward to claim the money. The funds just sit
there, collecting interest, until they're ultimately
transferred to the state. The same is true of our
lives. Many of us go through life not realizing that
we have a key to a rich account, that at any time we
can reach in and draw from the currency of life to
guide and move us into our dream. Creation's gold
mine is in you. The key is deliberate intention.
Whatever your dream may be at this moment, identify
it. If you cannot define your desire, it can never
become a reality.
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This
book chronicles Morrissey's realization of her
dream to create a ministry (she founded the
Living Enrichment Center in Oregon) from her
unlikely beginning as a teenage wife and
mother and lays out a step-by-step method to
become "a cocreator with God" and
follow your true calling. Morrissey counsels
would-be ministers to use her five essential
questions to test their dreams: Is it
enlivening? Does it align with your values? Do
you need help from a higher source? Will you
grow into your true self? Will it bless
others? |
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| Twelve
Rules for Building Self-Confidence
1.
Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.
2. Determine to know the truth about yourself.
3. Distinguish between who you are and what you do.
4. Find something you like to do and do well, then do it
over and over.
5. Replace self-criticism with regular, positive
self-talk.
6. Replace fear of failure with clear pictures of
yourself functioning successfully and happily.
7. Dare to be a little eccentric.
8. Make the best possible peace with your parents.
9. Determine to integrate the body and spirit.
10. Determine to live above neurotic guilt.
11. Cultivate people who help you grow.
12. Refuse to allow rejection to keep you from taking
the initiative with people.
Alan
Loy McGinnis |
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You
Are What You Think
Kathy Paauw
I’ve
been pondering this question: What is the greatest
barrier to self-improvement?
I
believe our greatest barrier is usually our self-talk.
We
can be our own greatest enemy!
We’ve
all heard the phrase, “You are what you eat.” The
same principle applies to your thoughts. You are what
you think you are. I recently came across a cute
story that exemplifies this beautifully:
TINY
FROGS
There
once was a bunch of tiny frogs ... who arranged a
running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a
very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the
tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...
The
race began. . . No one in the crowd really believed that
the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You
heard statements such as: "Oh, WAY too
difficult!!" "They will NEVER make it to
the top." The tiny frogs began collapsing. The
crowd continued to yell, "It is too
difficult!!! No one will make it!" More tiny
frogs got tired and gave up. . . But ONE continued
higher and higher and higher; this one wouldn't give
up! He was the only one who reached the top! All of
the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this
one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny
frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach
the goal?
It
turned out that the winner was DEAF!!!!
The
wisdom of this story:
- Never
listen to other people's tendencies to be negative
or pessimistic. They take your most wonderful
dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have
in your heart!
- Always
think of the power words have. Everything you hear
and read will affect your actions!
- BE
POSITIVE! And above all, be DEAF when people
tell you that you cannot fulfill your dreams! Always
think: I can do this!
As I
was writing this article, a friend forwarded a newsletter
from the Center for Spiritual Living (CSL), and part of it
ties in with this topic. The author says, "If you
are feeling hurt you are allowing yourself to be hurt by
other people’s unskilled behavior. Very few people
choose to be mean, or even thoughtless. Many have so much
going on in their own mind they don't realize in the
moment how they are coming across, and most likely later
they may feel as unskilled as you have at times like
these. Doesn't this call for a great deal of empathy and
compassion for everyone concerned?" Begin the process
of healing your own sensitivity to others’ comments and
opinions of you by reframing it. It's not what someone
else says that matters - - it's what you THINK about what
they say.
Here's
an example of a reframe:
I
am open to the feedback and comments of others. I will
not judge them as being hurtful. Instead I will judge
them as providing loving feedback for my growth and
development. If my wisdom directs me to know that any
particular feedback is not true, I can just let it
slip off me like dew on a petal. I do not need to
claim it or make it my own, or even be adversely
affected by unhelpful feedback.
"Thought
is action in rehearsal."
-Anonymous
Which
came first? Your habits, or your belief that those
habits are just part of who you are? Does it really
matter which came first? The fact is that habits
are…well…habitual!
Coaches
often talk about the Gremlin.
He is the narrator in your head. He tells you who you
are, and he defines and interprets your every
experience. He wants you to feel bad, and he pursues
this loathsome task by means of sophisticated maneuvers:
just when you feel you've out-argued or overcome him, he
changes his disguise and his strategy. He's the sticky
sort -- grapple with him and you become more enmeshed.
What he hates is simply being noticed. That's the first
step to his taming.
One
way to change what the Gremlin has to say (beliefs you
hold about yourself) is by changing your habits. Do you
have a habit that confirms a belief about yourself? Is
that habit serving you well -- or is it confirming a
belief about yourself that you wish was different?
Actions
speak louder than words. By choosing and committing to a
new habit, you will eventually change your belief about
yourself as you create proof based on your actions. That
belief will make it easier for your new habit to become
a permanent habit. The new habit will be who you are
rather than whom you aspire to be.
"We
are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is a
habit."
-Socrates
Here
is a four-step approach. Try using it to change one
habit that will support you in being who you want to be
or in doing what you want to do:
Ideal
Picture: Define a vision for what
you want to create. You are not changing a
habit for the sake of change itself, but rather
because doing so will get you closer to achieving or
having something you desire.
Inventory:
Conduct an assessment of where you are today.
What’s working well, what needs improvement, and
what’s getting in the way of your progress? We offer
a number of wonderful assessments on our Learning
Tools page.
Blueprint:
Construct the approach to making your vision a
reality. Think in terms of improving 1% a
day…something very attainable!
Accountability:
Clarify your intentions and take action. Form a plan
for staying on track. Keep a written record of your
progress.
Here’s
an example of how this four-step process works:
Ideal
Picture: I want to be a healthier person.
(Get specific about what this looks like, as defined
by your vision.)
Inventory/Assessment:
I am 20 pounds overweight. My cardio and pulmonary
capacity are reduced enough that I am limited in the
activities I can comfortably participate in. My blood
pressure and cholesterol are slightly elevated. Heart
disease runs in my family.
Blueprint:
Incorporate exercise as part of my daily routine. I
will get off the bus or subway one stop before I
usually do and walk the rest of the way to my
destination. When I drive, I will park farther away
from the building to create extra opportunity to walk.
I will take stairs instead of the elevator at work.
Accountability:
Hire a coach to hold me accountable and keep
me on track as I work through forming these new
important habits. Keep track in writing on my chart.
Within 21 days – if you really commit to and persist
with your new habit -- I guarantee that you will have a
new perspective and belief about who you are. Then you
can move on to choosing the next habit that you want to
develop and strengthen.
Imagine what it would be like if you were to create an
environment -- personally and professionally -- that
supports your priorities and values. Have you put
structures in place (carving out time, using the right
tools, setting up supportive systems, etc.) to support
your ideal picture?
This article is by Kathy
Paauw of Paauwerfully Organized. Kathy's web site is
a comprehensive resource devoted to helping busy
professionals and small business owners de-clutter their
schedules, spaces, and minds so they can focus on what's
most important. Kathy is an organizing &
productivity consultant, certified business & personal
coach, and speaker. Contact her at kathy@orgcoach.net.
For free resources and valuable productivity
tools visit http://www.orgcoach.net.
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
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Bless
Today: It Will Never Come Again (an excerpt)
Charlotte Davis Kasl
It's
fine to work toward future goals, but don't forget that
today will never come again. You have only
twenty-four hours to enjoy it.
Some
people put life on hold while striving for their
dreams. At first their theme song is, "After I
attain ______, then I'll be happy." Then,
later, after the success of attaining pales, the regrets
are felt. "Why didn't I take time to plant a
garden?" (or play with my children, visit old
friends, be kinder to my partner, relax, go to the movies,
go hiking?).
Instead
of waiting to be an old lady to wear purple, wear it
now. Instead of waiting for retirement to live in a
beautiful place, consider finding a way to get there
now. When we live our lives in accordance with our
dreams, it becomes easy to cheer for other people doing
so. When we don't, it's easy to be sour grapes,
unsupportive, or jealous when others break free and follow
their heart's desire.
Recently
I received a letter from my former Minneapolis
neighbors. "We've put our house up for
sale," it read. "We came home from the
country and said, 'No more!' We don't want to live
in the city so we're going to leave. We're looking
at a small town in Colorado with sunny days, mild winters,
and we're talking it over with our teenage
children." The energy and joy jumped off the
page. I could share their happiness because I knew
how much I enjoyed my move to the mountains. I sent
back a postcard that said, "Great! Wow!
You did it and I'm glad." There was a time in
my life when, because I wasn't living where I wanted to
be, I would have felt a tinge of jealousy and could not
have been so happy for them.
So
if you feel as if your life is somewhere out there as
opposed to right here, stop and ask yourself, really ask
yourself:
*
What is missing in my life?
* What have I put on hold?
* What am I waiting for?
* What would really fill my heart and make me happy?
* What would I regret if I died tomorrow?
Though
you may not die tomorrow, the saddest death is walking
around like a robot, cut off from the magic of today--from
love, from beauty, from being where you want to be.
And
remember, if all life is sacred, then today is
sacred. Ask yourself, What am I doing to feel joy today?
A wonderful way to start the day is to bless it:
Blessings
on this day, may I make it special in some way.
Blessings on my life, may I treat it with love and care.
Blessings on all people, may I see the goodness in
everyone.
Blessings on nature, may I notice its beauty and wonder.
Blessings on the truth, may it be my constant companion.
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Pithy,
effective, and remarkable....A good read for those
who seek to do good and enjoy happiness.
~~Tom Hartman
In
an age of cynicism, suspicion, and greed, Schwartz
reminds us how to seek the joy of being alive.
~~Diane Winston |
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The
true secret to giving advice is,
after you have honestly given it,
to be perfectly indifferent whether it is
taken or not and never persist in trying
to set people right.
Hannah
Whitall Smith
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