our third page of quotations and passages on self

Very often a change of self
is needed more than
a change of scene.

Arthur C. Benson

There is a dangerous threat in the air these days—the threat of our being thought for,
ruled, regulated, pushed around, made into Things. There is only one weapon against
that. The weapon is the Self—the unique and incalculable reality that is a human soul.

Eric Manners (1953)

You have within you all of the strength and wisdom you could
ever need. Never doubt that. Never fear to draw upon it.

Susan Santucci

Learn to value yourself, which means to fight for your happiness.

Ayn Rand

Don’t take yourself too seriously. It just makes
life all the harder. It’ll all come out in the wash
anyway, because God’s glory eventually will eclipse
everything that goes wrong on this earth. Lighten
up and learn to laugh at yourself. None of us is
infallible. We make mistakes in life, and more often
than not, they’re funny. Sometimes, being your
own source of comedy is the most fun of all.

Luci Swindoll

If only I may grow: firmer, simpler—quieter, warmer.

Dag Hammarskjöld

Often people attempt to live their
lives backwards; they try to
have more things, or more
money, in order to do more
of what they want, so they will
be happier. The way it actually
works is the reverse. You must
first be who you really are,
then do what you need to do,
in order to have what you want.

Margaret Young

One of the most common words in the invalidating, self-blaming
stories we believe about ourselves or our situations is the
word “should.” The psychologist Albert Ellis has coined the
phrase “Stop shoulding on yourself.” When you tell yourself that you
should feel or be another way, you are likely to feel bad
about yourself. As an alternative, try telling yourself that
it is okay to feel or be the way you are, even though you
have some idea that you should feel or be different.

Bill O’Hanlon

If you love yourself, you take good care of yourself. But early in life many of us stop loving ourselves and lose a sense of our own value. Others grow up with a sense of self-worth but get beaten down by the difficulties of life and then give up caring about themselves. I don't want to criticize people and tell them what to do. But I would like to see everyone accept themselves and love themselves as much as they love their pets. Some people only learn to love themselves when a life-threatening illness awakens them. When they are facing death, they stop smoking and start eating fruits and vegetables. Why wait until your life is almost over to realize that you should care for yourself?

Bernie Siegel

We usually look outside ourselves for heroes and teachers. It has not
occurred to most people that they may already be the role model they seek.
The wholeness they are looking for may be trapped within themselves by
beliefs, attitudes, and self-doubt. But our wholeness exists in us now.
Trapped though it may be, it can be called upon for guidance, direction,
and most fundamentally, comfort. It can be remembered.
Eventually we may come to live by it.

Rachel Naomi Remen

It's easy to see and notice what we like in other people. Sometimes,
it's not as easy to see the attributes and beauty in ourselves.
It's good to see the beauty in others. But sometimes, take a
moment and get excited when you notice what's
beautiful in yourself, too.

Melody Beattie

Personally, I haven't grown up with influences that focused on
my personal power and potential, so I've had a hard time
focusing on it as an adult. It's a lot of work, to be honest,
but work that's well worth it. You are a very valuable person,
just as valuable as world leaders and doctors and lawyers and
other people who are constantly in the news. Your value
may not manifest itself in the world arena, but when it does
manifest itself, you can be sure that it provides a great boost
to people other than yourself. Strive to reach your potential,
not just for yourself, but for the others who will be
positively affected by your actions when you've
acknowledged just how valuable you truly are.

tom walsh

As you move into the day, be aware of
how you treat yourself. As you shower
or bathe, be aware of how you handle your
body. Are you gentle? Or are you rough?
As you eat your meals today, be aware of
how much time, energy, and attention
you give to nourishing yourself. When it
comes to self-nurturing, are you
attentively conscious? Are you
unconsciously rushed? Be aware of
what you do to and for yourself,
because you set the
standard for others.

Iyanla Van Zant

Don't let the opinions of other people determine the image
you have of yourself. There is no need to feel either
appreciated or understood. Be even-minded. What you think
about yourself is everything. What others think about you has
no value at all, unless you choose to give it value.

Shantidasa

When we become expert at loving and caring for ourselves,
we feel healthy, centered, and strong. We don't need to escape from
our reality through shopping, eating, drinking, drugging, or losing ourselves
in abusive relationships. We feel warm and safe within ourselves.
We learn to value everything about ourselves--our bodies and
minds, our feelings and needs, our potential, strengths and weaknesses--
throughout all the seasons of our lives. We feel free to acknowledge
the truth of who we are, realizing that God didn't send us here perfect,
but to work toward perfection. When we trust fully, accepting ourselves
not as we wish to be but as we are, we develop a sense of wholeness
that brings us joy. We stop hiding and worrying about whether anyone
else sees our flaws. We aren't defensive or judgmental. We know
who we are, we know where we stand, and we accept that
we--like everyone else in the world--have some growing to do.

Susan L. Taylor

Three things are certain: Life's too short to live for other people. (I wish
someone had told me that in my twenties.) And this, too: Life doesn't come
with a rewind button. If we want to live genuinely, we have to free ourselves
from the beliefs, attitudes, and judgments of others. We have to strive
to be our truest self. We have to hear and heed the advice of Children's
Defense Fund founder Marian Wright Edelman: "You were born God's
original. Try not to become someone's copy."

Patti LaBelle

Everybody is unique.
Compare not yourself with anybody else
lest you spoil God's curriculum.

Baal Shem Tov

My dad always used to say, "If you take a step and it feels good,
you must be headed in the right direction." What he wanted us
to understand was that we needed to measure our progress against
an inner compass, using our feelings, our comfort level, and our
knowledge of ourselves as the ultimate guide. . . .
I've spent most of my adult life trying to hear that inner voice
above the noise around me. . . . It says softly that happiness is
as simple as having something to look forward to in the morning.
It says, in a low murmur I sometimes have to strain to hear,
that now is the time to have fun.

Linda Weltner

It is not pride when the beech-tree refuses to copy the oak.
The only chance of any healthy life for it is to be
as full a beech-tree as it can be.

Phillips Brooks

This is the miracle of life: that each person who heeds him or herself knows what no scientist can ever know: who he or she is.

Soren Kierkegaard

The self exists both inside and outside the physical body, just as an image exists inside and outside the mirror.

from the Ashtavakra Gits

Would you be a pilgrim on the road to Love?
The first condition is that you make yourself as
humble as dust and ashes.

Ansari of Herat

I will cease to live as a self and will take
as my self my fellow-creatures.

Shantideva

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Rather than fitting one's life into the demands of external conformity,
rather than living one's life as an imitation of the life of another, one
should look to find the authentic self within. One should labor to
develop one's own unique style in crafting one's soul. An individual
who denies his or her own individuality articulates life with a voice
other than that which is uniquely his or her own. One who suppresses
one's own self is in danger of missing the point of one's own existence,
of surrendering what being human means.

Rabbi Byron L. Sherwin

When we cannot find contentment in ourselves it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

La Rochefoucauld

The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves.
And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it.

Morrie Schwartz

Before I ever heard the term "emotional dependence," I knew that, in some mysterious way, I turned my life over to other people. It didn't matter who they were--my parents, husband, kids, friends, coworkers. If they were happy with me, then I could be happy. If they approved of me, then I felt worthwhile. If they granted permission, then I believed it was okay for me to do or be something. I looked to others for approval before feeling confident enough to take a step or a stand. I wasn't myself; I was whoever I thought the person I was trying to please wanted me to be. Since I wasn't a mind reader, no matter what form I pretzeled myself into, I wasn't able to please everyone all of the time. But I tried. That's emotional dependence!

Denying or sacrificing ourselves on the altar of others' expectations--or what we perceive to be their expectations--leaves us with no self. Without an awareness of our self, the courage to express who we are, and the willingness to experience the discomfort and exhilaration that follows, we are not truly living. We are existing merely as mirrors, reflecting other people's lives. Until we are willing to be our unique and beautiful (and, sometimes, ugly and mundane) selves, we cannot truly love either ourselves or others, and love is what life is all about.

Sue Patton Thoele

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live
with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner
sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

Foster C. Mcclellan

What is important is to realize that whether we understand fully who we are
or what will happen when we die, it's our purpose to grow as human beings,
to look within ourselves, to find and build upon that source of peace and
understanding and strength that is our individual self. And then to reach out
to others with love and acceptance and patient guidance
in the hope of what we may become together.

Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

I painfully dug up the entire field
so that I could plant my own crop.

Sheldon Kopp

Working on self-knowledge is not easy. Often, the harder it is, the more important it is. We dig up things we would rather not see. We resist the pain. We have a choice between a lifetime dull ache and a brief acute confrontation.

We settle for the familiar and confuse boredom with depression.

We all have unexpected moments of insight. "Oh, that's what that was all about." Few of us seem to be willing to push deeper.

People who refuse to do their personal homework reap crops sown in the past by their parents' influence and other powerful experiences. Unwilling to dig deep enough to set their own values and perceptions, they are caught forever working over the same small parts of their past.

Do your homework. Self-knowledge is for the purpose of contributing. You can change your perception of the past to bring peace to your present and our future.

Jennifer James

I am convinced, both by faith and experience, that to maintain one's self on
the earth is not a hardship but a pastime--if we live simply and wisely.

Henry David Thoreau

Two great Kindle books from our site! First, the daily meditations from the first year are gathered together in a single volume at just $3.99 for the entire year, and second, almost 4,000 of our most motivating and inspiring quotations are gathered in one volume for just 99 cents--you can have thousands of quotations that took over a decade to pull together, all on your own PC, Mac, or Kindle, to take with you wherever you go, to read whenever you feel the need for inspiring thoughts.