Today's
Meditation:
I
know a lot of people who feel that it's their duty to
"fix" other people's lives. Whenever they
see someone else in distress, they do their best to tell
them what they need to do or how they need to think in
order to make things better in their lives. They do
this with the best of intentions, of course, but they also
are doomed to failure most of the time because they don't
keep in mind two basic principles of personal
change: change comes from inside, and change comes
only when we're ready for it.
If
a friend of mine has problems, it's not up to me to solve
those problems, is it? But I can help that friend
deal with the problems and to deal with the way life tends
to get more hectic while we're dealing with
problems. We can't cause another person to get over
his or her grief at the death of someone special, but we
can give the person encouragement and support during the
time of grief.
When
I've been down, the people who have helped me the most
have been those who simply were there for me, not the ones
who offered solutions. Many people even say things like
"You shouldn't feel this way," which they see as
a solution but which doesn't help my situation at all.
People
who are hurting are indeed thirsty, and it's important
that we just bring them the water, not what we believe to
be the cure for their ills. Their cures can come
only from themselves, no matter how good our
intentions. Healers will tell you that they don't
actually cure anything, but just give people the
opportunity to heal themselves. Taking away the
thirst can help someone deal with the deeper issues on
their own.
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