This sense of unity and cohesiveness has been something that has eluded me most of my life.  As a very young child, I felt different.  Maybe we all sense our own separateness from each other, yet mine felt as if I was set apart, isolated from my playmates, and that feeling continued on into adolescence and adulthood.  As a young child I was extraordinarily contemplative; I was curious about everything, questioning the why's and wherefore's of how we got here, why we act the way we do, and what purpose all this nonsense serves.  I was enraptured by all of nature:  the sky, the heavens, the birds and tiny creatures.  While the other kids played games, I would sit and observe the wonders that surrounded the playground; it was all so fascinating to me.  Yes, indeed, I felt a Divine power had touched my soul at a very early age, something I was powerless to do anything about; it was my fate--it was to take hold of me and never let me go.

But this "difference" often made me unaccepted by others.  I was often too serious--if I had a nickel for every time a person told me to "lighten-up," I would likely be a millionaire by now. But I could never understand or accept their frivolity; how they could make light and trivialize the importance of everything?  I loved to think, ponder, explore, imagine, create, dream, and the only things I thought seemed to concern my little playmates was who’s turn it was, who’s got the ball, who stole my toy.  And for me the game just seemed silly. . . I thought there was SO MUCH more to learn, discover and figure out.

Yet, at the same time, I so desperately wanted to belong.  Later, I would often force myself and try to fit into what the others were doing.  Yet the more I tried, the more uncomfortable I was, and it never helped me to become one of them anyway.  The kids still saw me as an outsider, something different, weird.  And this lead to a life-long battle with depression and then later swings of mania in my early twenties.  Some may call it my chemistry, but I’ve later proved to be able to manage all this without the use of drugs; a fact that I attribute to my Divine Source within as well.

But for me to accept anyone, I had to first accept and love myself-- for all that I was.  That my heightened sensitivities were a part of my God-endowed make-up, that I was NOT SUPPOSED to BE LIKE those others, and ACCEPT that my unique qualities were given me for a purpose—often I still wonder just what that is, but I know they have served me well. Thanks to great teachers like M. Scott Peck with his wonderful series of books, such as The Road Less Traveled, and another great find, The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, I have come to accept, appreciate and love the person I am and God made me.

This nature makes me a highly conscientious person; I often take into account how the other is feeling, as well as myself, sometimes to the point of self-consciousness--sometimes to the point of not looking after my own interests or safety.  I long to do what is right, just, fair and loving, though I often fail at the task, for I am only human.  I do get tired, weak, or moody, yet I feel compelled to exhibit the God-like qualities of my all-loving Creator.  So I study and learn about pure love, not pure truth. . . because I believe we must all find our own unique truth. And one thing I’ve learned in my studies on pure love, is that one must learn to ACCEPT and appreciate others for the very unique, different, special people they are!  That each one of us brings to this earth something extraordinary, no matter what station in life we came from. 

Some of us have come through individual hardships that make us rich, developed, and glorious pieces of God’s handiwork.  Each one of us holds a piece of the Divine inside us, and when we exercise tolerance, and ACCEPT others, even in their times of weakness, we then are making the world a more Divine and loving place for us all. . . and in turn come closer to pure joy, pure peace. . . PURE LOVE!!

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