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Everyone in the
apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident
tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage,
and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a
life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only
one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was
also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have
been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle,
making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long
been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk
and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except
for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick,
yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction.
"That's one UGLY cat!!"
All the children were warned
not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted
him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door
when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned
the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up
and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around
feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running
meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for
their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling
on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.
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One
day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor's huskies. They did not
respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I
could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the
time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life
was almost at an end. Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and
lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the
white strip of fur that ran down his front.
As
I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him
wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be
hurting him terribly I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging,
sucking sensation on my ear-Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and
obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer
to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he
turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the
distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly
battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection,
perhaps some compassion.
At that moment I
thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen.
Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from
me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting
in me to relieve his pain. Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside,
but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one
scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it
means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly.
Ugly
taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books,
lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be
thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the
inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and
deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.
Many people want to be
richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always
try to be Ugly.
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