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Taking
a look at the rules that drive your thinking is a very
powerful activity to help you grow as a person,
especially as a business owner.
Another
wise client of mine once said, "There's no way to
separate who we are from what we do." You can
have the most empowered business plans in the world and
if your inner life and dialog is disempowered, forget
it. It's an uphill battle.
What
are your 'under-the surface rules' that run your life
and business? To explore, ask yourself: Where are
you consistently stuck in your business? What are
the things that always hang you up? What are the
recurring thoughts or themes you could write the book
about?
I
invite your willingness to explore. You have only
strength and success to gain. Here are some
examples of themes we all know too well:
I
can't quite break through to financial success.
I
default to fear and lack.
I
always feel overwhelmed and exhausted and out of time.
Procrastination
is my middle name.
I
walk up to the edge of a challenge and then back away.
I
avoid.
I
would suggest that behind every common theme, you have a
rule. For example, if you're like Sarah and you
can't break through to financial success, you might have
a rule that says, "People that make money, sell
out." Or, if you are constantly
procrastinating, you might have a rule that says,
"If I succeed, I'll wind up alone."
(Maybe you experienced a parent who worked a lot and was
unhappy, and you concluded that success equals
unhappiness).
Explore
where your rules came from by asking: When did the
rule get created? What were the
circumstances? Ask, if you were to change that
rule, what would happen? Who would be upset?
Who would get hurt or feel betrayed?
Take
heart--you created your rules for a good reason.
We all create meaning about life from our experiences
and then create rules to keep us safe, secure and
sane. The problem comes when we neglect to inquire
or challenge the current validity of our rules.
You
have the ability to move beyond your limited rules by
becoming aware of them, disqualifying them (if they
don't serve you), and then making new rules based on
your current reality. I challenge you to give it a
try.
As
for Sarah, she created a new rule that says she can be
financially successful, maintain her values, fulfill her
dream and express her passion in the world. What's
YOUR new rule?
It's
your life--live it completely!
©
Helaine Iris. Helaine is a professional coach and
writer who has been featured in numerous publications,
including "O" The Oprah Magazine. For a
solution-focused, initial consultation visit http://www.pathofpurpose.com.
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