|
Present, our
other kitten, was like that. He walked proudly around the house
owning everything. Being secure, he demanded the attention he
'felt' he deserved. He would play with us, sit in our laps, and
purr.
Buddy, on the
other hand, was frightened of everyone and everything. Her life
consisted of hiding and secretly eating. Her seemingly unusual
behavior was normal.
It was the
natural result of what she had experienced as a newborn kitten.
She had no preparation for a relationship to people or to other
cats.
At this point, we
might assume that a better life for her was hopeless. That is the
commonly accepted point of view. People might think that she was
stuck where she was, and would live a limited life.
Most people
assume that if someone is severely damaged at such a young age,
they will not have a life. Common 'wisdom' suggests that neglected
babies will have to give up any happiness, futures, goals, hopes,
dreams.
We simply allowed
Buddy to be herself. We placed no demands upon her to change,
grow, or allow us to ‘help’ her. She continued to hide and eat
when no one was looking.
When she was
approximately two years old, Buddy began going to her dish in the
kitchen, eating, and purring when I walked into the kitchen.
She
eventually allowed me to pet her at her dish.
Some time later
she surprised us by suddenly jumping up on my sweater shawls when
I lazily threw them on the couch. Buddy now began nursing my
shawls, purring loudly, and pushing her paws up and down on these
blanket like garments.
How long she did
this is anyone’s guess. Months? Years? Because we did not try to
change her, and simply accepted her, we did not track the time.
Some time later,
she got up on my lap, and stayed there like glue every evening
after work. Here are the things she learned to do in her own way
and at her own pace: Lick my hands, play with our other
cats, play with string, chase toys and another cat, and adjust to
other people.
Buddy's life
story can be an inspiration to us still. She was living fully,
growing, experiencing life, and learning new things until the day
she passed away. I'll summarize below some of the important ideas
about growing that Buddy can teach us.
* Buddy had her
own unique but normal and natural growth process.
* Buddy needed to
be accepted as she was.
*
When
allowed to be herself, Buddy followed her own instinctual growth
process.
* Buddy
grew at her own pace, which also came from inside her.
These principles
apply to people, too.
|
