The question "Is this an act of self-love or is it an act
of self-sabotage?" is one you must consistently ask
yourself if you are committed to having all that you want and
all that you deserve. When you love yourself you feel
worthy and deserving of claiming the gifts of this world.
Self-love gives you peace of mind and balance. Self-love
gives you self-respect and the ability to respect others.
It gives you the confidence to stand up and ask for what you
want. Self-love is the main ingredient in a successful,
fulfilled life.
I believe that loving who we are is one of the most difficult
yet vitally important tasks that each of us is given in this
lifetime. Loving ourselves means loving all of who
we are--the brilliant and beautiful, the flawed and foolish, the
selfless and self-absorbed, the courageous and fearful. It
means loving, honoring, and accepting the totality of our
humanity. It means cherishing ourselves and appreciating
our individuality and our uniqueness. When we choose
self-love, we claim our greatness. When we love ourselves,
we accept ourselves as a brilliant piece of architecture that is
whole unto itself rather than a project under construction that
constantly needs to be fixed, changed, and rebuilt.
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Loving ourselves means loving what we believe, loving where we
came from, loving our quirks and handicaps. Each of us
comes into this world with particular sets of strengths and
weaknesses, and since these aspects of ourselves are more than
likely not going to go away, our job is to embrace them all by
finding compassion and understanding for the imperfections in
our human selves.
Self-love
makes us acutely aware of our own needs and supports us in doing
whatever it takes to meet these needs on a regular basis.
When we love ourselves fully and freely, something magical
happens. We teach others, without using words, how to love
themselves. We become models of self-love--for our
children, our family members, our friends, and our
communities. We teach them not only that self-love is a
good choice to make, but that t is really the only choice.
When we give ourselves the gift of self-love, all those around
us are touched in our presence and feel deeper levels of love
for themselves. Most important, when we love ourselves, we
freely allow ourselves to experience the joys and gifts of this
world. . . .
When we engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, we are choosing
from our lowest selves rather than our highest. We allow
unhealthy underlying commitments to direct us away from our
desired destinations. Consequently, we go through our days
in a state of distress and unease. When we are
self-sabotaging, when we deny ourselves our own love, we are
scared to death of what other people think of us. We
become masters of disguise, always trying to conceal the things
we hate about ourselves. We give off the message to those
around us that not only don't we matter, but they don't matter,
either. When we are self-sabotaging, we deny ourselves the
right to have what we want and we unconsciously give other
people the false perception that it's okay to deprive themselves
of their dreams, too. . . .
What if attaining happiness and fulfillment was as simple as
going to bed at night after making a list of all the things you
did that day that fed your self-esteem and waking up the next
morning asking yourself, "How am I going to love and honor
myself today?" What if the message of all the ancient
gurus, the spiritual teachings, the self-help books, and all the
transformational techniques we've created came down to teaching
us how to give ourselves the love we try to get from
others? What if all there is to do is to love ourselves
completely and make new choices today, choices that are an
expression of self-love? Before making a choice, ask
yourself, "Would someone who loves themselves make this
choice? Is this action an expression of someone who honors
and cherished themselves?" Both of these questions
will bring you back to the simple question, "Is this an act
of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?"
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