Boundaries aren't all bad.
there are walls around mental institutions.
purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of
ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways
are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we
right to protect and defend ourselves. That we have not only the
the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us.
logical progression, then – what exactly are boundaries?
This shield can come in many different forms, but at its
core, a boundary simply involves saying No.
No to giving something; no to behaving in a certain way;
no to being treated in a way that will hurt your heart,
your body, your totality. Personal boundaries can
come in all facets of life--physically, emotionally, and
mentally. You protect your body; you protect
yourself from fatigue and stress, you protect your time,
money, and even privacy. You protect your right to a
basic level of respect and courtesy.
All her life, Claire had had a problem figuring
out where other people ended and she began. All her life, she’d
taken on the world’s hurt; she held herself responsible. But
A Summer Affair
|Individuals set boundaries to feel safe,
respected, and heard.
When we fail to set boundaries and hold people
accountable, we feel used
and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which
far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.
The Gifts of Imperfection
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Two - Year Three
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boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation--
although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in
fact they are
attempting to manipulate. The difference between
setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when
we set a boundary we let go of the outcome.
In my personal relationships,
I couldn’t find the edges where I
ended and others began. I
sometimes felt powerless, unsure of
who I was in relationships,
and unheard. I wasn’t sure how to
change my life, but I knew
that I had to. Because I didn’t set
boundaries, I was exhausted, I couldn’t focus,
and I felt
consumed by drama around me, in both my personal
lives. As I result, I dealt with a lot of conflict,
failed to take
care of myself, and generally disliked my work.
Every healthy marriage is composed of walls and
windows. The windows
are the aspects of your relationship that are open to the
world—that is, the
necessary gaps through which you interact with family and friends;
are the barriers of trust behind which you guard the most
intimate secrets of your marriage.
Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear,
healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other,
let us risk
remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.
who violate your boundaries are thieves.
They steal time that doesn’t belong to them.
Elizabeth Grace Saunders
The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment
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|Once you see the boundaries of your environment, they
longer the boundaries of your environment.
Appropriate boundaries create integrity.
|Indeed, the only truly serious questions are ones
that even a child can
formulate. Only the most naive of questions are truly serious.
the questions with no answers. A question with no answer is a
that cannot be breached. In other words, it is questions with no
that set the limit of human possibilities, describe
of human existence.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Eros is an issue of boundaries.
He exists because
certain boundaries do. In
the interval between reach and grasp,
between glance and counterglance,
between ‘I love you’ and ‘I
love you too,’ the absent presence of desire
comes alive. But the
boundaries of time and glance and I love you are only
the main, inevitable boundary that creates Eros: the boundary
flesh and self between you and me. And it is only, suddenly, at the
when I would dissolve that boundary, I realize I never can.
Eros the Bittersweet
|Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself.
It doesn’t make me
mean, selfish, or uncaring because I don’t do
things your way.
I care about me too.
The more severe the dysfunction you experienced
the more difficult boundaries are for you.
boundaries. . . Even in our material
mark the most beautiful of places, between the
the shore, between the mountains and the plains,
canyon meets the river.
William Paul Young